Bottle It

Fall Road b and w

 

 

How can I describe

my conflicted heart?

Where are the words of this love?

Where does that divide occur between

the acceptable and the taboo?

Even if I conjured up the magic formula today

would it work its charms tomorrow?

And even if the answers existed

for each dilemma, every riddle

would it be enough?

 

The panic monster lurks

observing the refuse of failed promises,

feeding on feelings still present

ill-defined, turbulent,

defiant and strong 

Contrary to  intent

the longing doesn’t stop.

grows fierce in its intensity

needing its own elixir

demanding resolution.

 

(c) The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva

Too Shattered To Spin

stone

 

Author’s Note:  Artists are fortunate that they have their art to turn to in times of greatest stress and despair.  But sometimes even artists have difficulty getting re-energized by their work.

And all of us have had to, at one time or another, don the mask of normalcy to face the world during a time of personal sadness.

 

Too Shattered to Spin

Too shattered to spin two words together
unless the words tell
of anguish
of tears
of love crushed under the weight of reality.

 

Too crushed to think of tomorrow
‘cause I already know that
tomorrow brings nothing but more reminders
that all is lost
forever

 

Too lost to find my way to happy ;
to regain my buoyant spirit,
to say hello once more
to joy…
to life…

 

There was no foul
There is no fault
There was surprise
There was fascination
There was delight

 

There was no way
There is no remedy
There is despair
There is grief
There is a mask ready

(c) The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva

Death Knell

misty marina_edited-1This morning I awoke with hope
Tentative, confused, yet all was possible
Still sorting out attitudes, the oughts, the shoulds
Needing to know more.

But not that
Not the death of hope
Not the final killing blow
Not the end of my world.

I have lost so much
There should be no surprise
That a passion so rare and elusive
Should be ripped from my heart.

You eased into your news
tried to lessen the shock
Divulged a few details the other day
Finished it off today.

You have been so sweet
Right from day one
And today was no different
Softly and gently killing my soul.

The central premise of my universe
Has vanished – a tectonic shift
Now nothing holds my world together
Without you – I will reach out to emptiness.

Grieving the death of what could have been
Pain profound a bottomless pit
I simply don’t want to “be”.
I want to go to sleep and never waken.

 

original poetry by the Spirit of the Goddess Minerva  April 2, 2014 (c)

The Battlefield

The battlefield exists in my head.
The combatants are regrouping,
re-arming for their next attack.
The home team takes comfort in what they can see;
the logical progression of familiar scenes
narrated in crisp tones with familiar dialogue
while the visitors nod with knowing smirks
And behind the scenes a chorus of naiads
suggest other worlds in their songs

If you choose to listen to this seductive siren
Be prepared for swift ascent to a world of ephemeral ecstasy
and a precipitous plunge to despair,
so my Head coach cautions.
The sirens sing not only for you
They sing for whoever is fool enough to listen to their melodies
And often their sweet harmony will take you down unintended paths
Betraying your trust for their own gratification.

The battlefield languishes
The combatants bide their time
When hope is at its highest,
when I start to utter victorious words,
they will once again take their places
brandish their cruel weapons
camouflaged in beguiling images
destroying certainty,  confounding rational thought.

You Are Gone

You are gone

I search
even knowing the outcome
you aren’t there.
The pain engulfs me –
ever sharper
So why do I search?

I can hardly string  words together
A disoriented soul
spawns a disorganized mind
Disbelieving
Unaccepting
Pleading to whatever god will listen.

You are still so much to me
more than the sum of your numerous alluring traits.
Always seductive, thought-provoking, stimulating.
and drawing out an other self
not known before
unable to be fully realized.

I was never more invincible
Than after contact with you – no matter how brief
Flirtatious, teasing, taunting
Tempting…. tormenting
You sent me into the clouds where
I lingered, floated and dreamed.

but you are gone…