This morning I awoke with hope
Tentative, confused, yet all was possible
Still sorting out attitudes, the oughts, the shoulds
Needing to know more.
But not that
Not the death of hope
Not the final killing blow
Not the end of my world.
I have lost so much
There should be no surprise
That a passion so rare and elusive
Should be ripped from my heart.
You eased into your news
tried to lessen the shock
Divulged a few details the other day
Finished it off today.
You have been so sweet
Right from day one
And today was no different
Softly and gently killing my soul.
The central premise of my universe
Has vanished – a tectonic shift
Now nothing holds my world together
Without you – I will reach out to emptiness.
Grieving the death of what could have been
Pain profound a bottomless pit
I simply don’t want to “be”.
I want to go to sleep and never waken.
original poetry by the Spirit of the Goddess Minerva April 2, 2014 (c)
Someone Else’s Drummer
I saw my shrink today
and pronounced myself cured
I came home tonight
understanding what that meant
Cured of trying to REASON you out of my thoughts
Cured of believing I’ll ever stop caring
Cured of the hope – even the dream
That someday we’ll find a way
Gone is the hope
But not the yearning
My dream has faded
while desire grows and need persists
And so the struggle continues,
once more behind a mocking mask
projecting rational thoughts,
trying to fool the world.
How many of us
live our lives pretending,
marching to the beat
of someone else’s drummer?
the words – now frozen and unformed
my muse – has abandoned me
my world – darker, desperate, hopeless