Ever Never

What’s to be gained pounding on a keyboard as though I were pounding you out of my heart I know and you know that’s not working just leaves bruises everywhere hurts me makes me cry knowing nothing will change

Ever

Ever

Never

It is what it is banal buzzwords of today but buzz buzz buzz  it’s all just words. Words and tears and pushing my fears and tears onto you not fair not fair to you or to me ‘cause nothing will change what is

Ever

Ever

Never

Like a bolt of lightning you lit me up then poof you were gone leaving your mark behind like a brand  singed  right where my heart creeps into my throat and stops my breath oh yes you did and you do take my breath away.  I struggle for answers – the whys and hows and whens and whats and all I get are pushes and pokes and pretty music – that prompts more questions more folly thinking more tears and the glaring truth always there unspoken tsk tsk why the fuck don’t you just go away I can do this with a well aimed click or two but I’ll be damned if I do and damned if I don’t so damn you damn me forget it it ain’t gonna happen.

Ever

Ever

Never

Revolving door syndrome full circle what goes around haven’t we had this non conversation before? Stop putting words in my mouth and thoughts in my head and pain in my heart and taking away my breath and stop playing cats got your tongue and just let it out.  Things will change but some things don’t won’t can’t be more than they are more than they ever were

Ever

Ever

Never