Bottle It

Fall Road b and w

 

 

How can I describe

my conflicted heart?

Where are the words of this love?

Where does that divide occur between

the acceptable and the taboo?

Even if I conjured up the magic formula today

would it work its charms tomorrow?

And even if the answers existed

for each dilemma, every riddle

would it be enough?

 

The panic monster lurks

observing the refuse of failed promises,

feeding on feelings still present

ill-defined, turbulent,

defiant and strong 

Contrary to  intent

the longing doesn’t stop.

grows fierce in its intensity

needing its own elixir

demanding resolution.

 

(c) The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva

Some Moments

And then there are the moments
when I think I’ll die from wanting you.
Much more than physical craving
I am blindsided.

Overtaken by this powerful storm
that smashes carefully constructed defenses,
set in place to ward off
inevitably disappointing outcomes.

Does this become at best an exercise
To stretch my imagination?
Conjuring up wordforms
that express my love and desire of you ?

Even that marks certain failure
For as deft as my pen may be
As varied as the words
There are none existing adequate for my purpose.

You Are Gone

You are gone

I search
even knowing the outcome
you aren’t there.
The pain engulfs me –
ever sharper
So why do I search?

I can hardly string  words together
A disoriented soul
spawns a disorganized mind
Disbelieving
Unaccepting
Pleading to whatever god will listen.

You are still so much to me
more than the sum of your numerous alluring traits.
Always seductive, thought-provoking, stimulating.
and drawing out an other self
not known before
unable to be fully realized.

I was never more invincible
Than after contact with you – no matter how brief
Flirtatious, teasing, taunting
Tempting…. tormenting
You sent me into the clouds where
I lingered, floated and dreamed.

but you are gone…

Culture Clash

Culture Clash                                                           rev. November 3, 2013

 
Trembling, tear stained
choking on bitterness
afraid to sleep
demons lying in wait
taunting her for a fool
chiding her for every well earned tear
laughing at her delusions.
no kick ass bounce back dime a dozen old news with it graduate of the love ‘em and leave ‘em school of romance,
culture shock overtaking a late bloomer, upright and ignorant, acquiring new vocabulary,  emotions overwhelming inbred propriety, rational civility, well honed modesty
Misplaced passions escaping the iron bars of habitual morality;
stored and forgotten,  left to ripen,  savoring freedom, generating their own brand of courage and strength
abandoning common wisdom for the uncommon illogical magnetic pull
of forbidden love in faraway places,
desire fueled by desire, emotion trumping reality,  surreal,  
the stuff of mid day soaps, bosom baring paperback novels
and Shakespearean tragedy.

Pain Redux

It’s disturbing – difficult to believe
that some seek to injure themselves
Isn’t pain to be scrupulously avoided?
Even acted out on the screen – we carefully avert our eyes
And maybe even tremble a little.
 

I read that sensation cancels out sensation
That if you scratch your bug bite
that annoying itch backs down.
What can mitigate a broken heart?
I’d shed blood for some peace – if even for a few hours.
 

If I walked into the ocean
until the water washed away my tears
Does that mean there’d be no more?
The desperate measures that some are driven to
Now take on clarity.

As an habitual Pollyanna
my instincts take over
and lecture sternly to my desolate self
always believing that in the end
peace and kindness will prevail.
 

         The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva