Winter Chill
Frosty winter sky
Violet streaks carousing
Wind chill factor down.
Author’s Note: Artists are fortunate that they have their art to turn to in times of greatest stress and despair. But sometimes even artists have difficulty getting re-energized by their work.
And all of us have had to, at one time or another, don the mask of normalcy to face the world during a time of personal sadness.
Too Shattered to Spin
Too shattered to spin two words together
unless the words tell
of anguish
of tears
of love crushed under the weight of reality.
Too crushed to think of tomorrow
‘cause I already know that
tomorrow brings nothing but more reminders
that all is lost
forever
Too lost to find my way to happy ;
to regain my buoyant spirit,
to say hello once more
to joy…
to life…
There was no foul
There is no fault
There was surprise
There was fascination
There was delight
There was no way
There is no remedy
There is despair
There is grief
There is a mask ready
(c) The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva
You are gone
I search
even knowing the outcome
you aren’t there.
The pain engulfs me –
ever sharper
So why do I search?
I can hardly string words together
A disoriented soul
spawns a disorganized mind
Disbelieving
Unaccepting
Pleading to whatever god will listen.
You are still so much to me
more than the sum of your numerous alluring traits.
Always seductive, thought-provoking, stimulating.
and drawing out an other self
not known before
unable to be fully realized.
I was never more invincible
Than after contact with you – no matter how brief
Flirtatious, teasing, taunting
Tempting…. tormenting
You sent me into the clouds where
I lingered, floated and dreamed.
but you are gone…
Desolation is now
Desolation is today
Fearing I’ve pushed you away
Cringing from the memory of my written words
The blame was never yours
The fault lies within myself
What good is a gift
if you cut yourself with it?
There is a skill that I sorely lack –
leaving along that which is imperfect,
Driven to smooth the edges
and to whisk the invisible dust.
That imperfect state may house what otherwise can’t exist at all.
Frivolous housekeeping provokes too much unsettling of debris,
exposing that which should not be uncovered –
blinding spotlight on the unacceptable flaw.
What seemed full of clarity
becoming more obscure as layers peeled away
Having long acknowledged the limits imposed
but steadily losing the resolve never fixed.
One thing emerges as unequivocal.
In any form deemed proper
I must have you in my life,
I must know you’re there
Knowing it can never be more
Accepted with stone filled heart many moons ago.
But complex feelings sometimes offer
a wider range of what becomes acceptable.
My panic increasing by the hour
Not just threatened with yet another loss
but the loss of you
No other choice, caring too much.
November 29, 2011