Too Shattered To Spin



Author’s Note:  Artists are fortunate that they have their art to turn to in times of greatest stress and despair.  But sometimes even artists have difficulty getting re-energized by their work.

And all of us have had to, at one time or another, don the mask of normalcy to face the world during a time of personal sadness.


Too Shattered to Spin

Too shattered to spin two words together
unless the words tell
of anguish
of tears
of love crushed under the weight of reality.


Too crushed to think of tomorrow
‘cause I already know that
tomorrow brings nothing but more reminders
that all is lost


Too lost to find my way to happy ;
to regain my buoyant spirit,
to say hello once more
to joy…
to life…


There was no foul
There is no fault
There was surprise
There was fascination
There was delight


There was no way
There is no remedy
There is despair
There is grief
There is a mask ready

(c) The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva

You Are Gone

You are gone

I search
even knowing the outcome
you aren’t there.
The pain engulfs me –
ever sharper
So why do I search?

I can hardly string  words together
A disoriented soul
spawns a disorganized mind
Pleading to whatever god will listen.

You are still so much to me
more than the sum of your numerous alluring traits.
Always seductive, thought-provoking, stimulating.
and drawing out an other self
not known before
unable to be fully realized.

I was never more invincible
Than after contact with you – no matter how brief
Flirtatious, teasing, taunting
Tempting…. tormenting
You sent me into the clouds where
I lingered, floated and dreamed.

but you are gone…


Desolation is now

Desolation is today

Fearing I’ve pushed you away

Cringing from the memory of my written words

The blame was never yours

The fault lies within myself

What good is a gift

if you cut yourself with it?


There is a skill that I sorely lack –

leaving along that which is imperfect,

Driven to smooth the edges

and to whisk the invisible dust.

That imperfect state may house what otherwise can’t exist at all.

Frivolous housekeeping provokes too much unsettling of debris,

exposing that which should not be uncovered –

blinding spotlight on the unacceptable flaw.


What seemed full of clarity

becoming more obscure as layers peeled away

Having long acknowledged the limits imposed

but steadily losing the resolve never fixed.

One thing emerges as unequivocal.

In any form deemed proper

I must have you in my life,

I must know you’re there


Knowing it can never be more

Accepted with stone filled heart many moons ago.

But complex feelings sometimes offer

a wider range of what becomes acceptable.

My panic increasing by the hour

Not just threatened with yet another loss

but the loss of you

No other choice, caring too much.


November 29, 2011