You Are Gone

You are gone

I search
even knowing the outcome
you aren’t there.
The pain engulfs me –
ever sharper
So why do I search?

I can hardly string  words together
A disoriented soul
spawns a disorganized mind
Disbelieving
Unaccepting
Pleading to whatever god will listen.

You are still so much to me
more than the sum of your numerous alluring traits.
Always seductive, thought-provoking, stimulating.
and drawing out an other self
not known before
unable to be fully realized.

I was never more invincible
Than after contact with you – no matter how brief
Flirtatious, teasing, taunting
Tempting…. tormenting
You sent me into the clouds where
I lingered, floated and dreamed.

but you are gone…

Someone Else’s Drummer

Someone Else’s Drummer

I saw my shrink today
and pronounced myself cured
I came home tonight
understanding what that meant

Cured of trying to REASON you out of my thoughts
Cured of believing I’ll ever stop caring
Cured of the hope – even the dream
That someday we’ll find a way

Gone is the hope
But not the yearning
My dream has faded
while desire grows and need persists

And so the struggle continues,
once more behind a mocking mask
projecting rational thoughts,
trying to fool the world.

How many of us
live our lives pretending,
marching to the beat
of someone else’s drummer?

Fantasy

You are my favorite fantasy
And I am yours
You are my go to when curtains descend on my landscape
Blocking the sun,
transforming my Technicolor world
dulling its glowing surfaces.

No reminder needed,
your face as familiar to me as my own
offers its own illumination
lighting the way
to the dimmest corners of my soul,
restoring the luster to my tarnished heart.

Giving In To The Illogical

And so I have discovered…

You can’t reason away feelings

and mathematics are useless.

The geography of the heart

holds surprises for an intrepid traveler

And that is why after 1000 days

I’m stuck in the same groove.

Held here by an invisible Force

laughing behind his invincible shield.

I’m reminded of a simple childhood toy

It looks harmless and innocent enough

Just insert your fingers and try to escape

The binds tighten: you are held fast.

I could fill a dozen blank pages

with a parade of reasons

that would make the average person pause

and exclaim why this can’t be real.

But no more than I myself did wonder

At last to acknowledge this immovable force

now ensconced in my life, in my soul, in my heart

do welcome and embrace what must be inevitable.

Written by The Spirit of The Goddess Minerva

October 2013

Doesn’t Have to

                    

It doesn’t have to be this way

unless we say it does

Balancing on the juncture of

always and nevermore

Clinging to dreams

born in our hearts

tethered by fragile cords 

subject to the whims of what heartless judge

 

 

Draw me paint me mold me

Be the master of my universe

as you are the keeper of all my dreams

Write our script with words of your choosing

born of desire and longing

Subject them to a brighter light

freely given gladly received

treasured truths unveiled.

 

You gave me puzzles

now give me answers

When your heart speaks to you

what does it say?

When your eyes are closed

and the world is still

as you hover on the brink of sleep

where anything is possible in a dream.

 

It doesn’t have to end this way

Unless we say it does

we are the navigators of our way

and the authors of our script

and the guardians of our dreams.

Eschewing the ordinary

rejecting the common wisdom

for an uncommon destiny.