Culture Clash

Culture Clash                                                           rev. November 3, 2013

 
Trembling, tear stained
choking on bitterness
afraid to sleep
demons lying in wait
taunting her for a fool
chiding her for every well earned tear
laughing at her delusions.
no kick ass bounce back dime a dozen old news with it graduate of the love ‘em and leave ‘em school of romance,
culture shock overtaking a late bloomer, upright and ignorant, acquiring new vocabulary,  emotions overwhelming inbred propriety, rational civility, well honed modesty
Misplaced passions escaping the iron bars of habitual morality;
stored and forgotten,  left to ripen,  savoring freedom, generating their own brand of courage and strength
abandoning common wisdom for the uncommon illogical magnetic pull
of forbidden love in faraway places,
desire fueled by desire, emotion trumping reality,  surreal,  
the stuff of mid day soaps, bosom baring paperback novels
and Shakespearean tragedy.

The Saboteur

DL at nightThe Saboteur

Weeks, months, years passed
First encounter imminent
Impulsive and thoughtless
I undermined it all

Acting on a whim,
no thought to repercussions
driven by a wish to surprise
and a spirit of adventure.

These stated motives
suffer under closer scrutiny.
Did fear direct my actions?
Or an unstated need prevail?

What did I fear?
That the reality of your touch
would fall short of my fantasy?
Or that I would disappoint you?

Predictable fears yet
deep inside I knew
that was not how it would play out
and that scared me to death.

I didn’t know it at the time,
It took some contemplation
soul searching, uncovering truths:
I feared I would never let you go.

That I would fall completely in love
with the reality of you in my arms
and never want to leave your side
and our worlds would turn upside down.

And reality and fantasy would merge
this new world unrecognizable
To either you or me
And ‘though we loved, we would lose our selves.

So we retreat to fantasy
And I still want you
And long for your touch
And am yours for always.

Hope’s Alchemy

It will happen one day,  not tomorrow.
But tomorrow I will close my eyes and
I will embrace the dream not hold it off
With shaking tearful fears and doubts..
Welcoming – opening my arms,
my heart, accepting you into my soul.
And one day,  not tomorrow
but one day before this earth
completes another journey ’round its sun
we will be together
To complete what began with teasing winks and  tempting smiles
–years before –maybe-a hundred years before.
Was there ever a time
you were not known to my heart?

Overcome by powerful feelings,
Unspoken words, unanswered desires
needing hope to perform its alchemy
and turn bitter tears sweet.
With certainty that this feeling echoes and grows
rounded with common caring and desire
Mutual fears matched by shared hopes fuel growing passion.
Dreams are redefined with shape and substance to
mold the doubtful fantasy
Turning ephemeral whimsy
into fiercely wished for reality.
Using all remedy
and means of resource.
One day soon, in this lifetime.

December 22, 2011, revised February 11, 2013

The Lure of the Inevitable – Dedicated to my Muse

The Kiss - Rodin

The space changes.
The feelings swell and take on the shape of a cloud.
And like a cloud they stretch the seams and overwhelm.
They guide my day and rule my night
and as they grow they gain in power
and in purpose and in conviction.

Some things are just inevitable
cannot be thwarted
cannot be stopped
are immune to logic
and profoundly deaf
to pleas of reason.

It’s almost comical
How I struggle to rationalize these emotions
And to cloak them in the respectability of stand-ins for more acceptable thoughts
Not that the underlying history of pain exists in an unrelated realm
But that it stands on its own and heals in its own time
Existing…no, thriving.

Funny how some simple thoughts don’t make it to paper
Much more difficult than to tell you how you turn me on
And how I want to make non stop love with you for 24 hours straight
to f*** until our heads explode
And then again
And again.

I want to kiss every inch of you
and linger where my kisses bring you exquisite pleasure
savoring each moan evoked
by lips intent and eager
fulfill a promise made
let destiny unfold.

Consume Me

This was first published here about four months ago.

Consume me

Like the flames lick the tossed sticks of wood in the glowing corner of the darkened room.

Piece by piece I will become a part of you –

fueling you – taunting you – wanting you – wanting you.

Take me apart, put me back together,

infuse my soul with laughter

with tears

with love

with fear.  

with hope

with dreams .

The more I am renewed

the more I will disappear in you. 

All my yearnings point me to you –

all my longings –

my entire being aches to hold you in me and be held.

Heal me

Every kiss

each stroke

will bring life and love and wholeness….

Original poetry by The Spirit of the Goddess Minerva