Deep inside my heart my trust in you resides
while insecure delusions fight for the upper hand
out of habit fearing the worst
anticipating devastation
afraid you will disappear

Repeated exposure to crushing losses
numbed me to the  pain
But once that barrier was breached
defenses hyperactivated
and fight or flight instincts finely honed.

Though weakening
This resulting paradox persists
but now the light of clarity shines sooner
as my trust grows
as you are revealed to me.