Do You Ever?

Do you ever feel  that peculiar tightness in your throat making you think of suffocation making you catch your breath and all the while the stinging starts behind your eyes and you think damn it not again I’m so sick of crying?  Do you ever?  Cause I do. 

Do you ever feel wetness on your cheeks as you’re driving downtown listening to your ipod playing that song you know you could turn it off but you don’t ‘cause even as the tears fall the pain you feel  right now just might be the last time you feel it?  Yeah I thought you might. ‘cause I do

Do you ever hold my photo and run your finger over where my cheek meets my lips then you close your eyes and the unbearable weight of reality hits you full in the chest and takes your breath away and a sob escapes and you shake your head  and yell at yourself stop it now? You can admit it if that happens to you ‘cause it happens to me every time and like the ipod no one makes me go there but I do there is no force strong enough to stop me and if there exists such a power please help me. 

Please numb my senses for at least one day of peace calm no tears no pain if I can’t hear that love song if I can’t see your  beautiful face if my breath remains steady and the tears don’t flow just one day of peace .  

Do You Ever?

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